Between You And I
by Kelly of the midnight dawn
Summary: I'm not sure how to summarize this one. EO angst. Oneshot


**Between You And I**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, not at all. If they were, there would have been a lot more EO moments this season. I mean seriously, the producers have just decided to withhold any and all hope from us. I think they seriously want me to kill myself or something.**

**A/N: Okay, what can I say? It's been too long since I've posted anything. The lack of EOness this season has seriously bummed me out and I am truly depressed. So this is the best I could do. I hope you enjoy it.**

"I can't trust myself to stay here," her voice was shaking, her gaze was directed away from him but he could hear the tears in her voice as her shoulders shook ever so slightly. "I never depended on anyone in my life before you, not my mother, my friends, even my other partners, I never trusted any of them, never cared so much about anyone as much as I care about you."

He opened his mouth, preparing to say something, anything to keep him from losing her, and he knew that that was what was happening, that neither one of them would venture to say these things unless it was over. Her speech was prompted by the overwhelmingly obvious fact that she just couldn't do it anymore. The air between them had become thick, almost suffocating and they both knew it, they could both feel it every time they came within ten feet of each other. But he hadn't even uttered a single syllable before she stopped him.

Without turning even the slightest bit in his direction, she held up a hand "Please," she whispered so painfully that he felt his heart being ripped in two by that single word "Let me finish?" He fell silent and waited for her to continue but it was a long time before she spoke next.

Shuddering breath after shuddering breath wracked her body as she fought against her own heart to continue speaking. Words failed her for what seemed like an eternity before her voice seemed to return. In a slightly stronger yet still trembling voice, she plowed on "I have to get away from this," she made a sweeping gesture with her hand through the air "This thing between us. It's eating me alive. I have to…" she fell silent again, still staring at the floor, her back facing him as it had been since he'd first confronted her in the locker room nearly half an hour earlier.

He took a step towards her and reached out, laying a hand on her shoulder "Liv," he whispered, attempting to offer some sort of reassurance. Things had been good between them when she'd returned from Oregon, the best they'd been in the two years since Kathy had left him, and in one night he had thrown all of that away. All of what he and Olivia could have been was reduced to ashes the second Kathy had asked him to stay that night.

She pulled away from his touch with a jerking motion as if his hand had the power to burn her. She still refused to look at him as she whispered, hoarsely and even more brokenly than before "Don't Elliot, just… don't."

He pulled back, not sure of what to say, not sure if there was anything he could say. She was leaving and there was nothing he could do to make sure they parted on good terms. He hung his head, turning back to his own locker, still hanging open. He stared into its depths "So, Boston huh?" he asked in a small voice. He knew there was nothing he could do to change her mind.

"Yeah," she said in a soft voice and he could almost hear the hint of a smile in it "They really need a good SVU detective there."

"I need you too," he said before he had even thought about it. He had meant to say something more to the effect of that Manhattan needed her, that SVU needed her, that Cragen, Munch, Fin that all of them needed her but he had said the one thing that his heart had been telling him not to.

There was a heavy sigh from behind him and he spun around just in time to catch her looking at him. Their eyes locked even through the curtains of misty, unshed tears that hung between them. She took a step towards him and reached out with a trembling hand to caress his cheek "You can't say that," she said as the curtain of tears became a waterfall "You can't say things like that Elliot," she whispered "You… you just can't," she hovered there, unable to pull herself away, anchored by his words and by his presence. For all the suffocating air that had grown thick around them of late, his presence still had the power to soothe her soul even as it simultaneously tortured her.

He brought his hand up to rest over hers "Why can't I?" he asked. It was the truest thing that he had told her in months "Why can't I tell you how I feel before you leave me again?" he asked, his emotions teetering dangerously between anger and sorrow. He swallowed hard. She had come clean with him and it was only fair that he do the same "I need you. I'm sorry if you don't want to hear it but it's the truth."

"You can't need me," she told him honestly "You need your children Elliot; you need your family," she pulled away then and stepped back. As much as she wanted this man, she would not become a home wrecker, she couldn't.

He stepped forward and placed his hands on either side of her face, forcing her to look at him. He took a deep breath "I don't want to lose you," he told her honestly.

"Lose me?" she asked indignantly, pulling away, trying to stop the tears which continued to fall "Lose me as what Elliot? What am I to you? What are we to each other?" she waited for a response but when it didn't come she turned to the door of the locker room. Before she left, she turned and looked straight at him, the tears still pouring from her eyes "Face it Elliot," she whispered as he watched the broken soul he was responsible for creating try and reclaim the fortress of cold, impenetrable walls that had served to protect her so well in the many years before she had known him, because she knew there was no way she'd survive now without them "I was never yours to lose in the first place."

She was out the door and had taken two steps down the hall before his voice halted her "So that's it?" he wasn't angry; he sounded as worn down as she felt. She didn't know why she turned around but she did.

Walking back into the locker room, she saw him standing there his shoulders slumped and his eyes downcast. There were tears on his cheeks. She walked up to him and stood there "It has to be," she told him "What ever this is," she sighed "It has to end."

"I don't want it to," he said, reaching out and cupping her cheek in his hand.

"I don't either," she admitted, leaning closer to him until against her better judgment, her lips were pressed against his. Every rational impulse in her brain told her to pull away but she stayed there and did not object when Elliot parted his lips and the kiss deepened.

And in that instant, everything became clear. The thick suffocating air exploded and everything looked clearer, brighter. When they finally pulled apart, Elliot smiled down at her "I've been waiting so long to do that."

She smiled softly "Me too," she admitted.

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"So," Elliot smiled, draping his arm around her shoulders as they sat on her couch together "Boston huh?"

She nodded "Cragen did say he'd give me a day or two to think about it before he sent in the paperwork."

"Have you made the final decision?" he asked, part of him wondering if things had really changed.

She smiled, settling further into the couch and laying her head on his shoulder "I think," she paused and looked up at him "Maybe I'll stick around for a little while."

He kissed her "So you mean I'll still have to put up with you?" he asked jokingly.

"Do you think you can handle me?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

He laughed and kissed her again. He pulled away and found himself staring into her eyes "I'm always up for a challenge," he replied and they both smiled before he kissed her again.

**THE END**


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